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Archive for the ‘Cooking’ Category

Bloody Finger 2010

In At home, Cooking on December 5, 2010 at 7:56 pm

I’ve started to teach myself how to make interesting and tasty food.  This afternoon’s experiment was sweet potato biscuits.  I only have hand mixer and immersion blender for which the instructions specifically say to use only with liquids.  Whatever, I’m smarter than the instructions, I know better.  So I started putting the ingredients together:  flour, baking powder, salt, sweet potatoes, no liquid.  I stick the immersion blender in, it jams so I decide to use my finger to get the dough out.  I know I should unplug it first.  But I don’t.  And while my finger’s in there I turn it on.  I started yelling and laughing, there was so much blood I could tell if my finger was attached or part of the dough.  I ran to the kitchen sink to put it under water and fortunately discovered the finger was still in one piece.  After I washed it off and grabbed a paper towel to stop the bleeding, I turned around to find my kitchen newly decorated.  It was exactly like all the Quentin Tarantino movies and I’m excited to say blood really does splatter like that.  Fortunately I managed to grab my camerae and snap a few shots before Haben finished wiping everything down.  I think he was slightly grossed out by the whole thing.  In the end the blood missed the mixing bowl and the biscuits were mmm, mmm, goooood!

Bloody fridge

Bloody cupboards

Blood, blood everywhere

I’m a 1% Fool

In At home, Cooking on April 15, 2010 at 8:24 pm

So I’m stuck at home with a bad cold and need to eat.  I don’t have anything my fridge but fortunately this morning Mark Bittman published his easiest recipes in the NYTimes.  One of them is for Socca, an Italian flatbread made from chickpea flower, olive oil, water, and a ton of pepper.  I have all these ingredients and Mr. Bittman assures me it’s 99% foolproof so I decide to give it a shot.  The batter is easy to put together and I pour it in my pizza pan and get it in my hot oven.  Two minutes later I open the door and smoke pours out – the pan is warped and the batter has shifted to the right, leaving the thin remains to burn under the element.  I close the door and tell myself it will be fine, it’s 99% foolproof.  Sure enough, 7 minutes later the smoke has stopped and the batter is baking nicely.  The instructions say to put the pan on the top shelf under the broiler for the last five minutes to crisp it up so that’s what I do.  The next time I open the oven door the bread is on fire.  The charred bits lit up under the broiler and set it all off.  I’m laughing so hard that on top of my cold-infected lungs, I barely have enough air to blow it out.  I manage to get it under control and still save 1/2 the bread which although slightly charred tastes quite nice.  My apartment stinks though and it’s now official that I am a fool.